V for Vendetta

I love V for Vendetta.

Real love.
There was a comment from [info]matociquala with which, I completely agree with — the Wachowski (sp?) brothers have redeemed themselves.

It just hit so many things for me, especially with the current situation in the Philippines. It makes me question my stand on supporting Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo.

I *like* her, I really do, and I believe she's getting a bad rap and not enough acknowledgment for the things she's done and doing for the country. So, with the recent proclamation banning any sort of large political gatherings and the arrest of some media personalities… I'm really torn.

I like her, but I don't approve of her actions, and yet… and yet, there's this other part that's supporting her because I think the opposition is just making too much noise and making trouble for the Philippines. I think the Philippines need order, needs a chance for its economy to balance out and its disturbing for me to be so… blase about it. It really makes me question what I believe in and then here comes this movie, and V's words about how people who like order and peace would just be complacent and follow the government blindly.

Last February 25, was EDSA Revolution's 20th anniversary. How did we celebrate it? Fireworks? Rousing speeches? Unfortunately, we didn't celebrate anything. On the eve of the 25th, there were two army officers who plotted a coup against the President, the officers were arrested and the coup stopped but on the 25th, on the day itself, the President declared a State of Emergency and the proclamation 1317,
forbidding any large political gatherings.

The police and the military picked-up three opposition congressmen and some prominent columnists over the course of the week, and just recently, the former Secretary for Social Welfare, Dinky Soliman was arrested for leading a
walkathon and… well, for wearing black, which the police say is seditious.

Was I outraged?
I was not.

I should have been, but in fact, I was very annoyed with Dinky Soliman, I really thought — think she's just causing trouble.

It's disturbing.

I was part of the second EDSA revolution and brought down former President Erap Estrada. It was… the most exhilirating thing I've ever done and at that time I thought things were going to change that it could only get better from there.

Boy, was I wrong.

All I feel now is tired and disgusted with politicians, with their endless bickerings and I just look up at the line-up of senators and I shake my head. We have more actors, former coup plotters, Marcos supporters and despair.

So, yes, V for Vendetta really made me face-up with the things I've been thinking in my head.

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These changing times

I know, I mentioned this would be a blog free from personal musings but you can’t really separate the personal, especially when one is on a journey to find oneself.

For a whole year, I have been living a life of quiet desperation, resigning myself in a job I didn’t like but after a year I finally had the courage to change my path and turned in my resignation.

Most people, my friends in the office, think it was all due to my current supervisor (a woman with a reputation of giving people under her hell, well deserved, I think) but it wasn’t. She’s just one of the factors but not the whole reason.

I am not without blame in this, I freely admit I have dropped the ball at almost every opportunity given to me. This job requires a person passionate about the details and as days weaved into months I realize that two wrongs can really never make a right.

Try as I might, my personality is not suited for this type of work. Try as I might, this job does not hold my interest. Try as I might, I have realized it would be better for the company and far better for myself if I start looking for another job.

A job far suited for me and the path I would like to take.

All my life, I have lived under my parent’s advice. Some of their advices pan out, but I’ve come to another epiphany. I should learn to rise and fall by my own decisions and not be swayed by the opinions of others, most especially my parents’.

I am my own person with different sets of dreams and wants, and though they want the best for me, they are not me.

I owe it to myself to at least try to pursue my dreams, to live my life as I see fit. I want to write and I want to teach, I want to travel and I want excavate. I want so many things in my life I don’t think I have room for my parent’s good intentions.

I want to travel to Tuscany and feel the Italian sun on my face, I want to go to Istanbul and see with my own eyes the beauty of the Hagia Sofia, I want to go to Greece and brush my fingers against the molding but still magnificent pillars of the fallen temples, I want to study the lives of the people before me and write their story, I want to create. To do.

But in the end, I want only one thing — I want my own life.

Because life has got to be something more than endless pursuits of reports and client’s needs. There has to be.